Bewitched

After one whole quart of brandy,
Like a daisy, I awake.
With no Bromo-Seltzer handy,
I don’t even shake.

Men are not a new sensation,
I’ve done pretty well, I think:
But this half-pint imitation
Puts me on the blink.

I’m wild again!
Beguiled again!
A simpering, whimpering child again!
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I.

Couldn’t sleep
And wouldn’t sleep
Until I could sleep where I shouldn’t sleep.
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I!

Lost my heart, but what of it?
My mistake, I agree.
He’s a laugh, but I love it
Because the laugh’s on me.

A pill he is,
But still he is
All mine and I’ll keep him until he is
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered like me!

Seen a lot;
I mean a lot –
But now I’m like sweet seventeen a lot.
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I.

I’ll sing to him –
Each spring to him,
And worship the trousers that cling to him.
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I.

When he talks, he is seeking
Words to get off his chest.
Horizontally speaking,
He’s at his very best.

Vexed again,
Perplexed again,
Thank God I can be oversexed again.
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I.

Sweet again,
Petite again,
And on my proverbial seat again.
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I.

What am I?
Half shot am I.
To think that he loves me,
So hot am I.
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I.

Thought at first, we said, “No, sir,”
Now we’re two little dears.
You might say we are closer
Thank Roebuck is to Sears.

I’m dumb again
And numb again,
A rich, ready, ripe little plum again.
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I.

You know,
It is really quite funny
Just how quickly he learns
How to spend all the money
That Mr. Simpson earns.

He’s kept enough.
He’s slept enough,
And yet, where it counts, he’s adept enough.
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I.